Eurovision countdown
May. 24th, 2008 07:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jadesfireI've got myself in the mood by watching "I'd do Anything" for the first time and am just settling down ready for Eurovision. We have a scorecard (downloaded from the BBC website), I have the computer and ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
major_jim has the sarcasm. Anything witty that I write about people was probably said by him first.
So gather round, get yourself a seat on the sofa, bring a bottle and get comfortable.
And we start with Sir Tel, as lugubrious as ever, bracing himself for the hours of torture.
Next comes a girl with a great pair of lungs and dancers with rather confused outfits. Well, I'm confused anyway. Not hard. Now she's asking why. I have to ask myself the same thing. Not that the blonde dancers in pink hot pants aren't *ahem* talented but...er...black stockings?
And the presenters are up and at 'em, looking very grey. Eep! Now they're kissing. Very very carefully so as not to disturb the microphones. It's an impressive skill. Hey, they have champagne! How unfair!
Ooh, I forgot to mention the inter-song snippets last time. This time, we have male models in coloured shirts. I'll keep you posted on any other interesting ones.
First up, Romania. Black tie top, jeans bottoms. Hmmmm. But he obviously knows that the camera with the little red light is the one that's broadcasting. Very useful knowledge, that. She's changed dresses this time. Much nicer than the strange black and green thing. And a decent enough song, complete with key change. Simple, but effective.
The UK song. Which is apparently so boring that you forget how it goes while you're listening. That's a fair point, I'd say. Although he gets extra points for pulling off a sparkly blue jacket.
Albania. In which we are promised the first bellybutton of the evening. ooh, waily waily... Still, bonus mark for the first use of the wind machine. Which probably explains why her jacket has a sail on the back?
Germany. Love, you see that thing floating around the top of the stage? That's the key. You lost it. Not even your cunning curtain costumes can make up for that. Although the other half has been imagining the audition process: "Well, you can't sing, but you only have one voice and two...other attributes... You're hired!"
Armenia. With the terribly athletic dancers and the fringey dress that I love. Not challenging words, but catchy enough.
Bosnia&Herzogovina. "Four knitting brides of Frankenstein and a loony with a clothes line". I don't think I can actually add to that...
An interlude in Serbian, concluding with 'let's get crazy'. She obviously saw Bosnia's song. But she's having fun, and there are a lot of people in the "capital of the world and the capital of fun". Yeah. Alright.
Israel. Song written by Dana Int. who won a few years ago, so should know what's what. Great song, awesome singer. What's he doing at Eurovision? And he's pulling off a silver waistcoat. That's not easy.
Finland. Trying gothic rock again, since it worked 2 years ago. All the entries should have guys with maces playing the drums. Should be compulsory. And good grief, guys, you're showing more flesh than most of the girls. Oh, and they're singing... With a lead singer who looks like "what Legolas would have looked like if Mordor had won" (M-J)
Croatia. Old men in hats. And a very bendy dancer. In a fantastic dress *wants*. Yeah. But they should probably leave the rap to the young. Not an actually awful song, though. er, until they started doing the shouting thing again... And you can't really do scratching with a gramaphone.
Poland. I love the bottom of her dress, and would probably love the top if there was any. Her hair is doing sterling service in the cause of modesty - think Catherine Zeta Jones in Zorro... But what a dull song.
Iceland. "It's Steps!" (M-J) Nineties disco with very shiny teeth. Not challenging, but fun, and I love the pink in her hair.
Turkey. Bland song, sung with much enthusiasm. And they have the funkiest background. Which doesn't make up for it, but at least they're trying.
First interlude, and the presenter has changed into a silver bin bag. Let's not talk about the Green Room, shall we? let's just say volume/=sense.
Portugal. Ballad about someone drowing themselves. How Eurovision. Well, it's got major_jim drumming along, although not necessarily in a way that compliments the song...
Latvia. It's the pirates! He's not too bad, but the women really can't sing, which is a shame, as it spoils a good comedy song. As it is...it's kinda dull...
Sweden. She's in black and white! How do they do that? That was very cool. The dress was a nice idea, but "makes her look rather sticky". One or two inches longer, and it'd be perfect. Like the song, though. Unashamedly cheesy pop. Very Eurovision. And great light show. Very sparkly.
Denmark. Flat caps 'r' us. The song's managing the remarkable feat of sounding like a cover version, even though it can't be. Drat, what does that remind me of?
Georgia. "Low key and slightly depressing". The singer looks like what would have happened if Jackie O had been a goth...
*gapes* Okay, they win all the costume awards ever for that change from black to white. So very, very cool.
Ukraine. Love the dancers in boxes. Fantastic ideas, and boy, are they earning their money. You know, I like this one. Cheesy, fun, but the girl can sing and the guys can dance. What more do I want? Plus, fun with light boxes. You go, girl.
France. What's with the beards? Er, and the gold cart. And the blow up ball? Doo wap, baby. Doo wap. [m-j, on the beards]: "It's like the Bee Gees, really really really messed up."
Azerbaijan. Gee whiz, how tight are his trousers? I can't hit that note... Yah, subtlety, not their strong point. Hey, they nicked that trick off Georgia! Although, thought: could the pretty girls wearing not very much and writhing round the stage possibly be why they won? Y/N?
Greece. I love the pop-up garden in this. Don't put your heel through his spinal cord, love. Watch those heels. I actually prefer her dress before they take it apart. I like this one, and not only for the bouncy dancers.
Spain. "The Spanish version of Sacha Baron-Cohen. El Borat." (M-J) Long. Boring. Bad. How much do Spain NOT want to win this year. They're getting booed even before they finish.
Serbia. "That's three and a half minutes of my life I won't get back" (m-j)
Russia. I've been waiting for this one. Terribly enthusiastic guys, a guy getting it on with his violin and an ice-skater. Perfect Eurovision.
Norway. Another bad case of cloning, although I love her dress. I want her dress. Quite a decent song, too.
And we made it! I shall miss the interval act, as I should go do the washing up. But oh good lord she has ANOTHER new dress. it's a halterneck, love. Why are you wearing a top under it?
Please someone else tell me that they're seeing this interval act. Because I'm starting to think I'm having a waking nightmare...
Speaking of which, we're off to bed. I shall look forward to finding out who won in the morning. Thanks for the fun and hope you survived the experience.
major_jim has the sarcasm. Anything witty that I write about people was probably said by him first.So gather round, get yourself a seat on the sofa, bring a bottle and get comfortable.
And we start with Sir Tel, as lugubrious as ever, bracing himself for the hours of torture.
Next comes a girl with a great pair of lungs and dancers with rather confused outfits. Well, I'm confused anyway. Not hard. Now she's asking why. I have to ask myself the same thing. Not that the blonde dancers in pink hot pants aren't *ahem* talented but...er...black stockings?
And the presenters are up and at 'em, looking very grey. Eep! Now they're kissing. Very very carefully so as not to disturb the microphones. It's an impressive skill. Hey, they have champagne! How unfair!
Ooh, I forgot to mention the inter-song snippets last time. This time, we have male models in coloured shirts. I'll keep you posted on any other interesting ones.
First up, Romania. Black tie top, jeans bottoms. Hmmmm. But he obviously knows that the camera with the little red light is the one that's broadcasting. Very useful knowledge, that. She's changed dresses this time. Much nicer than the strange black and green thing. And a decent enough song, complete with key change. Simple, but effective.
The UK song. Which is apparently so boring that you forget how it goes while you're listening. That's a fair point, I'd say. Although he gets extra points for pulling off a sparkly blue jacket.
Albania. In which we are promised the first bellybutton of the evening. ooh, waily waily... Still, bonus mark for the first use of the wind machine. Which probably explains why her jacket has a sail on the back?
Germany. Love, you see that thing floating around the top of the stage? That's the key. You lost it. Not even your cunning curtain costumes can make up for that. Although the other half has been imagining the audition process: "Well, you can't sing, but you only have one voice and two...other attributes... You're hired!"
Armenia. With the terribly athletic dancers and the fringey dress that I love. Not challenging words, but catchy enough.
Bosnia&Herzogovina. "Four knitting brides of Frankenstein and a loony with a clothes line". I don't think I can actually add to that...
An interlude in Serbian, concluding with 'let's get crazy'. She obviously saw Bosnia's song. But she's having fun, and there are a lot of people in the "capital of the world and the capital of fun". Yeah. Alright.
Israel. Song written by Dana Int. who won a few years ago, so should know what's what. Great song, awesome singer. What's he doing at Eurovision? And he's pulling off a silver waistcoat. That's not easy.
Finland. Trying gothic rock again, since it worked 2 years ago. All the entries should have guys with maces playing the drums. Should be compulsory. And good grief, guys, you're showing more flesh than most of the girls. Oh, and they're singing... With a lead singer who looks like "what Legolas would have looked like if Mordor had won" (M-J)
Croatia. Old men in hats. And a very bendy dancer. In a fantastic dress *wants*. Yeah. But they should probably leave the rap to the young. Not an actually awful song, though. er, until they started doing the shouting thing again... And you can't really do scratching with a gramaphone.
Poland. I love the bottom of her dress, and would probably love the top if there was any. Her hair is doing sterling service in the cause of modesty - think Catherine Zeta Jones in Zorro... But what a dull song.
Iceland. "It's Steps!" (M-J) Nineties disco with very shiny teeth. Not challenging, but fun, and I love the pink in her hair.
Turkey. Bland song, sung with much enthusiasm. And they have the funkiest background. Which doesn't make up for it, but at least they're trying.
First interlude, and the presenter has changed into a silver bin bag. Let's not talk about the Green Room, shall we? let's just say volume/=sense.
Portugal. Ballad about someone drowing themselves. How Eurovision. Well, it's got major_jim drumming along, although not necessarily in a way that compliments the song...
Latvia. It's the pirates! He's not too bad, but the women really can't sing, which is a shame, as it spoils a good comedy song. As it is...it's kinda dull...
Sweden. She's in black and white! How do they do that? That was very cool. The dress was a nice idea, but "makes her look rather sticky". One or two inches longer, and it'd be perfect. Like the song, though. Unashamedly cheesy pop. Very Eurovision. And great light show. Very sparkly.
Denmark. Flat caps 'r' us. The song's managing the remarkable feat of sounding like a cover version, even though it can't be. Drat, what does that remind me of?
Georgia. "Low key and slightly depressing". The singer looks like what would have happened if Jackie O had been a goth...
*gapes* Okay, they win all the costume awards ever for that change from black to white. So very, very cool.
Ukraine. Love the dancers in boxes. Fantastic ideas, and boy, are they earning their money. You know, I like this one. Cheesy, fun, but the girl can sing and the guys can dance. What more do I want? Plus, fun with light boxes. You go, girl.
France. What's with the beards? Er, and the gold cart. And the blow up ball? Doo wap, baby. Doo wap. [m-j, on the beards]: "It's like the Bee Gees, really really really messed up."
Azerbaijan. Gee whiz, how tight are his trousers? I can't hit that note... Yah, subtlety, not their strong point. Hey, they nicked that trick off Georgia! Although, thought: could the pretty girls wearing not very much and writhing round the stage possibly be why they won? Y/N?
Greece. I love the pop-up garden in this. Don't put your heel through his spinal cord, love. Watch those heels. I actually prefer her dress before they take it apart. I like this one, and not only for the bouncy dancers.
Spain. "The Spanish version of Sacha Baron-Cohen. El Borat." (M-J) Long. Boring. Bad. How much do Spain NOT want to win this year. They're getting booed even before they finish.
Serbia. "That's three and a half minutes of my life I won't get back" (m-j)
Russia. I've been waiting for this one. Terribly enthusiastic guys, a guy getting it on with his violin and an ice-skater. Perfect Eurovision.
Norway. Another bad case of cloning, although I love her dress. I want her dress. Quite a decent song, too.
And we made it! I shall miss the interval act, as I should go do the washing up. But oh good lord she has ANOTHER new dress. it's a halterneck, love. Why are you wearing a top under it?
Please someone else tell me that they're seeing this interval act. Because I'm starting to think I'm having a waking nightmare...
Speaking of which, we're off to bed. I shall look forward to finding out who won in the morning. Thanks for the fun and hope you survived the experience.