Remembrance (SGA ficlet)

[jadesfire]

This story is part of my multi-fandom Halloween costume for karaokegirl's Come as you aren't party, being held all this week. The index of stories can be found here

Title: Remembrance
Fandom: Stargate: Atlantis
Characters or Pairing: John Sheppard
Rating/warnings/spoilers: PG/none/episode tag for 'Sanctuary'
Word Count: ~

Summary: He liked her before he knew



Remembrance

I could have placed us in exile
I could have shown you how to cry

He liked her before he knew. That's the real gut-punch, because maybe if he'd known, he wouldn't have let himself- what? Spend time with her? Get to know her? Fall for her? And okay, a couple of days isn't exactly the affair of the century, but it meant something. Didn't it?

The balcony feels too big without her and he half-wishes he'd brought the blanket to sit on. Of course, that would have made things a hundred times worse, but at least he wouldn't have been freezing his butt off. He's been up here a few times since he left Proculus, just sitting and watching the city come to life in the dark, lights flickering in the inhabited towers, bright against the darkness of the abandoned rooms. Atlantis is beautiful at night time. That's why he chose this spot, to show her the city, to share it with her.

That thought makes him shake his head, choking back a bitter laugh. Sharing his city with someone who probably helped build it, and who understood it better than he could ever hope to. What an idiot. She must have thought they were all arrogant idiots, showing off their shiny toys, the things her people left behind. But then there had been that moment of connection, the memory of it so warm that it drives away the chill of the wind. It will pass, he knows, returning him to the bitterness of what could never have been, but for now, he closes his eyes and looks into the remembered light.

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/_medley_/]

I am so impressed by this, because you've made what the writers wanted us to believe real somehow. I never really bought the attraction on the show, never really bought that she mattered to him. And now I do, wholeheartedly.

[jadesfire2808.livejournal.com]

*grins* I'm not sure I bought it either, but it seemed a suitably angsty situation for the song lyrics.

Thank you so much! *bounces happily*

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

This one isn't quite as sad as the others, there's a vague, hopeful element to it that takes the angst and turns it into a way of reaching for hope.

Excellent costume, Jades. Very impressive!!

[jadesfire2808.livejournal.com]

*happy grinning* Well, it is me under the costume, so it's bound to show at some point.

Thank you so much!

[miss-zedem.livejournal.com]

Oh Shep *cuddles him* I like this. I liked the sort of romance between him and Chaya (was that her name?), although I always saw it as a connection between two people who took the protection of their people very personally. And despite his reputation as a Kirk, I do think, like Jack in DW/TW, he does fall for people, whether that connection is fleeting or more longlived.

Um, yes. Sorry. Kind of drifted off the point there. I liked it, did I mention that? ;)

[jadesfire2808.livejournal.com]

*g* You did mention it, thanks.

And the 'romance' wasn't particularly convincing, but the connection was, and he did seem upset. For Shep ;) it also seemed to fit nicely with the song lyrics, and who am I to argue?

[crystalshard.livejournal.com]

I never quite believed in that romance, but they did share something, and now I remember how. Gorgeous.

[jadesfire2808.livejournal.com]

The romance didn't play out brilliantly on screen, but that's what fanfic's for, right? ;)

Thanks!

[kriadydragon.livejournal.com]

I liked this. I know a lot of people kind of despised Chaya, but as a love interest for John, I liked her better than the rest of the women in later episodes. Something about John strikes me with the impression that he's kind of a lonely guy. Chaya, being lonely herself, complimented that. I like how your story explores John's emotions, making the whole relationship more than just a alien-priestess-seduces-hero incident.

[jadesfire2808.livejournal.com]

I didn't hate Chaya, it's just that in a single episode, it's really hard to convey a full-blown romance. But John's shyness about the picnic and, yes, the lonliness between them suggested that it was something more than just a plot-device.

Thanks :)

[wildcat88.livejournal.com]

Lovely piece. I especially like his understanding of how audacious they must have looked showing off the city to an Ancient.

[jadesfire2808.livejournal.com]

*nods* In retrospect, it must have made them cringe.

Thanks!