In which I am the worse housewife ever

[jadesfire]

You know, I make really, really good gingerbread, brownies, cookies and assorted other cakes. My casseroles are decent, my curries taste good and I'm a whizz with pasta sauces.

So why can't I make a decent loaf of bread in a breadmaker? I followed the instructions, I counted everything and was really, really careful. And, to give myself some credit, the resulting loaf is edible. It's also about the half the size it should be and tastes vaguely like soda bread with a salty crust. *headdesk* I've decided that the only possible explanation is that the breadmaker hates me.
So. Ahem. It turns out that I got my tsps and tbsps mixed up when it came to the salt. That'd do it... *headdesk*

ETA: I just exploded milk all over the microwave.

...

Maybe it's a good thing I go back to work tomorrow, don't you think?

---

And just so this post isn't only about me whining:

SGA Rec: The rest of you have probably read this, but I stumbled across Fireball and just adored it. Well, I confess to skipping some of the more graphic McKay/Sheppard parts, but I loved the feel and tone of it. We watched 'Cars' again the other night, and I remembered how much I loved it (I want to go tractor tipping!) so maybe I'm still riding that wave, but anyway. It's yet another gorgeous SGA AU. What is it about that fandom that produces so many of them?

Comments

[smtfhw.livejournal.com]

Sometimes reducing the salt in a breadmaker recipe can help... Also, apparently they can be sensitive to daft things like external temperature fluctuations, so have a think about where you're placing it to use it...

[jadesfire2808.livejournal.com]

I think a reduction of salt is definitely a good plan.

It wouldn't be so bad if my husband didn't make perfect bread, every time, using identical ingredients and with the maker in the same place. *sigh* I think it's got a crush on him...

[smtfhw.livejournal.com]

Told you salt could be the problem...!

[dune-drd.livejournal.com]

Bread with yeast? Could always be the yeast being old/dead/lazy. We discovered that it helps if you cover the machine with a towel and put it somewhere warm... well, either that or buy Pre-mixed Bread Ingredients. ^^

[jadesfire2808.livejournal.com]

It was a new packet of yeast, but I'll try the towel thing next time, maybe. Or just leave the other half to do it. It works every time for him *glares*

[thalia]

You've read Written by the Victors, right? It's the only SGA story I've managed to finish.

Also, you can't possibly be a worse housewife than me. Seriously.

[jadesfire2808.livejournal.com]

*grin* I think the entire fandom read 'Written by the Victors'. Although I enjoyed and am awed by the work that went into it, I confess to preferring "Things to do in Denver When You're Dead" of Speranza's work. Victors just doesn't quite hit it for me, somehow.

I think it's a good thing for everyone that I'm not a housewife. I like the idea of it - keeping the place clean, cooking etc etc - but I suck at the practice :)

[miss-zedem.livejournal.com]

I don't think you should take it personally - bread makers hate everyone. Except my mum, but that's cos they're probably scared of her... I think where you went wrong was the whole weighing and measuring exactly, when everyone knows the key to baking is 'chuck it in until it looks/feels right' ;)

And I'll get round to reading the AU rec once I've finished reading the other AU the athousanderrors sent me. It features an AI Sheppard...

[miss-zedem.livejournal.com]

Oh and for the microwave problem, I recommend a solution of four parts water to one part vinegar in a bowl, heat it in the microwave for 30 seconds, then wipe the microwave clean. It'll come up all shiny and fresh smelling! In the absence of vinegar, use lemon juice, but I think you need to use a little more lemon than you would vinegar.

[/Mrs Beeton impersonation]

[jadesfire2808.livejournal.com]

I actually knew that one! The microwave is mostly unscathed, although the milk made an impressive pop when it went.

I'm currently having too much fun over at torchwood_iv with seti_drd, who has the most awesome ideas. It'd take too long to explain, so I won't try, but I suspect it's one of those things like "Mornington Crescent" - you either get it or you don't. I suspect this could eat up what remains of my life...

[(Anonymous)]

You had to link that, didn't you. *sigh*

--Terry

[jadesfire2808.livejournal.com]

*evil grin*

[miss-zedem.livejournal.com]

I was about to ask what torchwood_iv was, then it occurred to me I could just click and find out *facepalm*

GDL was just on Welsh BBC news, looking nervous, and sporting some... interesting facial hair. He appears to be increasingly modelling himself on JB - floppy straightened hair, shirt-jeans-blazer combo (although thankfully he doesn't seem to have been attacked by the stripe monster just yet). Quite entertaining watching the oh-so-straight presenters drooling over him...

[jadesfire2808.livejournal.com]

*grin* Sometimes, things are just too simple... I warn you, I think tw_iv has the potential to become really addictive.

Hee! Poor boy - let's hope he manages to evade the stripe monster for some time to come. As far as I can tell, the 'shirt-jeans-blazer' is practically mandatory for TV appearances now. Or a striped shirt and trousers (no jacket). There must be a style rule somewhere...

[jadesfire2808.livejournal.com]

*grin* The Mr works like that, so maybe that's where I'm going wrong...

Ooh, is that the one by Leah...uh...something about bones...? If not, care to send it on? Someone did a 'top ten SGA AUs' post (it's in my memories somewhere) so I've been happily reading my way through that :)

[miss-zedem.livejournal.com]

It sounds like it is the one you're thinking about, but here (http://leahwoof.livejournal.com/9838.html)'s the link anyway. I don't think you'll find it too graphic, and the story's interesting enough for it not to matter anyway. I don't know why, but I can deal with AU Shep/McKay, but not when the fics are based in canon. Odd. The other one I'd recommend is A Farm in Iowa - I think I've got it in my mems under the Sheppard/McKay tag if you haven't read it already.

[jadesfire2808.livejournal.com]

Yup, that's the one.

I'm exactly the same about McKay/Sheppard stories. "Forget me not" is one of the few that really convinces me ("Things to do in Denver..." being one of the others) and even then, it's mostly because they're not quite themselves.

I've heard a hell of a lot about "A Farm in Iowa" and have done my typical 'not gonna' thing when it comes to reading it. But I trust you, so I'll give it a go :D

[hellenebright.livejournal.com]

Too much salt and not enough liquid. Watch out for the following

• does him indoors use coarse salt and you used the free flowing stuff? You only need half as much.


• does him indoors walk away, or watch it mixing? If he watches it mixing, chances are he adds more water "if it looks dry" without thinking to say anything about it.


• most breadmaker recipes seem to be in cups. Assuming you have a set of measuring cups, do you pour the flour into the cup, or scoop it out of the bag with the cup? Experimental data suggests that you get more flour with the scoop method, because it packs tighter.


• the little dear doesn't by any chance use *warm* water, without telling you, now does he?


• breadmakers are peculiar about where in the machine you put the various ingredients. Assuming yours is a 'water below/flour on top' machine, make sure you make a hole *right down to the water* to pour the yeast into, but only make a little dint in one corner to put the salt into. Salt kills yeast, so you want to get the yeast in the water with some salt free flour first, before it comes in contact with the salty flour. You'll notice breadmakers tend to half mix it, then stop for a bit, then start again. This is why. When mixing in a bowl you can replicate this by making a well in the flour, then spreading the salt around the rim of the bowl, at the top of the well.

[jadesfire2808.livejournal.com]

*sheepish look* We figured out the problem. I did this the other night with curry as well - got my tsps and tbsps mixed up. I was just about to edit the post... My excuse is that my brain is not firing all cylinders right now, and that's not from TW squee, sadly. I'm just hoping I stay awake til the end of the damn episode - I'm about ready for bed right now.

Thanks for the advice, though. We're looking for a breadmaker of our own (this one is my in-laws') and I'm determined to get it right eventually!

[(Anonymous)]

Hi there! I was just wondering this morning where you'd been and if you were ok.

--Terry

[hellenebright.livejournal.com]

Been kind of distracted. I got an unexpected promotion just before Xmas, as I was engaged in the miserable business of taking my employer to an Industrial Tribunal. Fortunately that matter has now resolved itself, but the promotion has kept me busy and the household has had the flu, just to add to the gaiety of nations (in fact, I think Emma has mono - she's had flu-type symptoms for about eight weeks now, and at the age of 15, that would be an obvious diagnosis)