Freshers: can't live with 'em...

[jadesfire]

...can't send them down*.

'Tis the season of new people here in the city of dreaming spires.  Which basically means the streets are full of lost teenagers, clutching maps, leaflets, reading lists and wearing Amnesty International stickers on their Che t-shirts.  I arrived at work this lunchtime to find the lobby packed with them, all waiting to be told where to find their books.  They'd had help finding the building, but actually standing in it was proving to be a challenge.  You see, if you stand six inches from the very large bronze doors that open inwards, you will be hit by them.  And it will hurt.

I sound about a million years old, don't I?  I only finished my degree 3 years ago, so I'm not quite a dinosaur yet, but these first-years make me feel so old.  It doesn't help that their dates of birth are now in years that I remember.  This is very disconcerting.  We had a group of about thirty of them here yesterday, all nervous-looking and keen (apart from the ones that looked as though they'd only just fallen out bed.  Ten a.m. is unreasonably early for an arts student) and not having a clue what's going on.  They stood very politely in the vestibule and pretended to listen, while we all know that when they actually turn up to look for their books, they're not going to have a clue.

This is supposed to be the computer-literate generation, brought up to understand the internet and Google and things like that.  It's frightening how many of them can't tell the difference between author and title on their reading lists.  And how many can't do even the most basic of searches on a computer.  It's really not that hard, there's guidance on the screen, (look!  right there! It says 'to look for an author, type in the author's name'.  What do you think that means?  No, really?) but the gormlessness is truly staggering.  I don't actually mind teaching people to use the catalogue - it's in my job description and I quite enjoy it - but I object to having to explain to someone the most basic of procedures, just because they slept through the induction, particularly when they've got a queue of six people behind them.  

So, just for all the freshers out there:
Yes, this is the library. (This is the answer to pretty much the most commonly asked question.  Seriously.)  
No, you can't photocopy the whole book, due to a pesky little thing called copyright.
No, I can't do all your searching for all your books for you.  If you don't want to get lynched by the crowd behind you, I suggest finding a computer of your own.
Yes, I can put money on your photocopying card, but you have to give me the money first.
No, we don't supply stationery/glue/water/coffee.  
No, I don't know what you want to do with the large pile of books you just dumped in front of me, until you tell me.  I'm working on the telepathy, but I'm not there yet.
No, you can't eat your McDonalds in here.
No, you can't borrow the book that says 'confined' on the label, nor can you borrow more than your limit.  Not even if you cry at me.

But, for every down....

Freshers do have their amusement value.  Particularly in a circular library.  Whoever thought 'round' was a good shape for a reading room clearly had a great sense of humour.  Even I get lost if I forget which set of stairs I went up.  The poor first-years don't stand a chance.  There are maps, but search parties are also on stand-by, just in case.  

My morning was also greatly enriched by watching four guys doing what was clearly their first shopping trip of the term.  They'd got themselves a trolley (good start) which, when I met them, contained two huge boxes of bottled beer and two loaves of white bread.  As I went past, they were debating the merits of Pot Noodles.
"...yeah, but we could just buy a whole tray full.  It's not like they go off..."

Ah, happy days.

*this is the Oxford-speak for getting kicked out.  Even if you live in Scotland, you 'come up' to Oxford at the beginning of term, and 'go down' at the end.  It's a whole new language...

Comments

[jadesfire2808.livejournal.com]

What! Those links were for pictures only...knew I should have checked the site first. I'm afraid I know they're making that up - anyone who's actually been in the library can tell you that the lavatories define the opposite of luxurious...