It all made sense in my head*

[jadesfire]

I am always scatterbrained, which is why I keep lists of just about everything - seriously, if I'm going out at lunchtime to have a walk, I will write a quick list that says "walk, buy coffee" just so I remember what I'm doing - but at the moment, I feel even worse than usual.

I think it's that when I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed, I write lists as an alternative to doing things, not as a reminder. Between work stuff getting big and scary, and home stuff feeling kind of up in the air for all kinds of reasons, I think I'm trying to find the magical list that will just make my brain click and jolt me into 'doing' mode. Sadly, that's not a thing, and I could be writing lists until 2019 trying to make that happen.

Instead, this morning, I gathered up all the junk dumped around my office and dealt with it. I didn't put the tasks on a list, I just did them. Sadly, that seems to have used up my brain power for the morning, and I'm now staring at the remaining tasks and thinking "Whut?"

As usual, there are two solutions to this: MOAR COFFEE and ANOTHER LIST. \o/ Well, actually it's a cup of decaf and clearing out the messages in my email that I flagged for later attention and have now forgotten about. I'm always stressed if I can't see the big picture, so putting everything on one giant list, which I can then sort through, actually works for me most of the time. I have A3 paper and a full set of sharpies, and I'm not afraid to use them.

I also need to deal with my 'blocking' tasks. The ones that I don't want to do, but need doing as a priority, and that I procrastinate on. The thing is, I feel bad about doing anything else before them, so I end up just not doing anything. Except possibly going around in circles.

So. Coffee, colour-coding and just doing the thing is the order of the day. Monday didn't really happen, so I'm declaring this the start of my week. Hey, it makes the weekend come sooner, right?

Comments

[akamine_chan]

Just imagine how much more we could get done on a regular basis if our brains would just help rather than hinder.

[jadesfire]

Oh gosh, yes. I'm tricking myself by interspersing "thing I have to do" with "thing I want to do." Seems to be working so far...

[blackmare]

I relate to this SO MUCH.

For me, it has turned out that certain supplements help a great deal -- most notably vitamin D and a low dose chelated iron, but selenium has also been beneficial and it looks as if a daily scoop of lecithin granules is getting added to the Dysfunctional Brain Regimen. I took lecithin for a week in Florida because my mom bought it for other reasons and I figured I would see if it helped my foot pain. Which it may have, but the immediate thing I noticed was a big reduction in the "static" in my brain.

But I also rely to a great degree on lists and coffee. Which I can't have right now, and don't even want, because I am recovering from a stomach virus. :-P

[jadesfire]

Ooh, that's interesting, thank you. I take enough pills to rattle - the main ones are a multivitamin and Vit D - but I haven't heard of Lecithin, so I'll look that up too. At the risk of turning into my mother (who has most of a health store in her cupboard), I do know that I'm better when I take them!

As of next week, I'll be mostly off the coffee and onto tea and decaff, but this week, I'm still a work in progress :)

[naye]

It does! Well done with the DOING and now there's just another three days to go...?

[jadesfire]

I am so proud of myself! I Got Stuff Done in a way that I haven't for weeks, and while I flagged at the end of the day, it was still a 200% increase in productivity \o/ Such a good feeling.

As is only three days to the weekend, which is going to be more of a stagger than a run :)

[summerstorm]

I feel you here, so much. I used to make lists in my brain as I went but I'm lost to the extent that I can't even plan my next move?

I've got the opposite problem in terms of lists replacing work, though, or rather -- my problem is, if I'm overwhelmed, I can't even list things. Because I'm so terrified I won't do them, or that it will be too much, or who even knows. I've got things I should put on a list that I'm not because I'm scared. It's so annoying.

[jadesfire]

Ack, that sucks. My trick for being overwhelmed and stuck is to change format. List not working? I do a mind map. Mind map too scary? Get out the colourful post it notes (I write a single, small task on each). Pick an older, scruffier notebook (I can't put the list in a new one, in case I *do it wrong*).

My trick for tomorrow, when I know I will look at my list and want to hide under my desk, is that before I left, I wrote three things on a piece of paper that really should be done first tomorrow. Just three. And if I don't get anything else done, that's cool. I did my three things.

*hugs* that kind of feeling sucks. And the above sounds glib and simple, but it's taken me literally years of practice and about 300 panic attacks to get to this point, so go easy on yourself <3

[itsadrizzit]

This is great!

I am also a listmaker, otherwise things won't get done, but I do think it's great that you've accomplished this much today. It may seem small, but it's more than nothing and that's significant.

I hear you about writing a list as an alternative to doing things. It's a good coping strategy to sit amidst my mess and write "clean up mess" instead of just doing it.

But you know, do what you can, and the rest will wait and you can do them again tomorrow!

[jadesfire]

<3 thanks :)

I always find it hard to get the activiation energy to start things. Once I'm going, I'm fine, but doing that first things needs about 100 times as much energy as the second thing, even if it's tiny. Hopefully, now the ball is rolling, I can keep it going!

[unfeathered]

This all sounds so familiar!