jadesfire

Wow, I've been quiet lately. Well, quite for me, anyway. This is partly because of brain stuff, and partly because apparently I acquired a life when I wasn't looking. It sure gets in the way of posting...

The brain stuff is complicated and messy, and is ironically because I'm actually doing much better right now than I have been. That means I start to prod at the stuff that sends me downhill in the first place, which makes me moody and over-sensitive, which in turn is not a good state of mind to bring to the internet at large. I'm sure the rest of you find that too, and that's why I intend to post nothing but trivialities for the next few weeks. But then if you're here, you're probably already used to that already ;)

~ Despite what I said a few weeks ago, I now have to use a spreadsheet to keep track of all the fannish and crochet things I'm committed/committing to over the coming months. But it has pretty colours on, and who keeps their new year resolutions anyway? *looks shifty*

~ We're starting to house hunt again, this time for real. This is bringing home the reality of trying to buy in one of the most expensive cities in the UK that's not London. This could take a while...

~ I went juggling at lunchtime! Er. That's not a metaphor. We really honestly had a juggling lesson with these guys as part of the library service's Well Being Week. It was lots of fun, but I'm knackered!

~ It's my mum's 60th birthday today *throws streamers* She's having a big posh lunch on Saturday that should be all kinds of fun.

~ If I bribe you with a mini-linkspam, will some of you guys do me a favour? There's a Google Form at the link below - please could you click the link and take the survey? I'm just trying to see how it works at the moment, rather than gather meaningful information.

Bribery in the form of mini-linkspam (and tiny rant):
( Cut to save space )

If there's anyone still there, please could you nip over and fill out my pointless form HERE? There's only a few silly questions on it - I'm trying out the different options!

Thanks, folks :) How is everybody? Keeping heads above water?

So, did anyone else start the week by trying to kill themselves by smoke inhalation? No? Pbbbbbbt, guys, try to keep up.

Okay, so what really happened is that instead of turning on the hob under my porridge, I turned on the hob under my electronic scales. Normally, I turn on the hob and go away to get dressed, since my porridge is then done by the time I get back. This morning, since the flat was cold, I decided to get dressed in the living room where the heater is. That turned out to be a good decision, because when the scales started to make popping noises, I was right there.

Of course, an even better idea would have been to not melt them in the first place, but hey, you can't have everything.

We're both fine, although I'm a little nauseious from the fumes. Luckily, since I'm married to a chemist, he looked at the glass top of our cooker and said "I'll get a solvent from the lab to get that off." He has his uses ;)

ION, apparently crocheted toys are desirable items, since there's a small bidding war going on over at my help_haiti thread. Slightly more nerver-wrackingly, the bidding for my writing also went up over the weekend. *gulp*

The bidding currently stands at $15 for a blanket/shawl or hat/scarf/mitten set, and an incredible $35 for a crocheted toy set. Both auctions are here.

For my writing, the current price is $20, and the thread is here.

I'm having photo issues, since I'm not used to Flickr yet, but I'll upload some examples of my work as soon as I beat it into submission.

I suppose I should probably do some work before that, though. Hope y'all had a good weekend and good luck with your Mondays!

+ I got snowed on last night! This makes me stupid happy, since I love snow. Yes, I know all the problems, and I know that a bunch of you hate it, but for me, when it snows I'm seven years old again and staying with my grandparents because school's closed. I'm warm and safe and happy, and since I've lived in London my whole life, this is the first time I've ever seen snow. It won't snow properly in London again until I've moved to Oxford, so this is my strongest childhood memory of snow. Every time I get snowed on, it takes me right back there.

- Am sick. The cough is getting worse and is now bringing a cold with it. Normally, I get the sniffle then the cough, so I'm officially designating this my dloc, since clearly it is backwards.

+ I'm using the automatic URL uploader to shift my stories onto AO3. It's working pretty well, although you still have to do a lot of editing once they're there. But it's much easier to copy and paste a URL than a whole story, I think. And it gets most of the details right, so overall, I'm pretty impressed. The interesting part is going to be once I start uploading my series - I'm fairly sure I tag/group them somehow, so hopefully that will work well.

- Still have a whole afternoon to get through, with many books and no motivation whatsoever. Woot /o\

Swift Signal Boost: Yuletide Pinch Hitters click here for important email information.

It's a bit of an up and down kind of day, which is mostly due to my stomach being nowhere near settled yet. I have pills from the doctor and will probably have to look at what I eat somewhat - cut back on caffeine and up the veggies, neither of which are particularly inviting prospects but never mind.

There should probably be other news at this point, but mostly right now I am trying to get through the post-lunch slump without dozing off and wondering if I can eke out my work to last a whole three and a half days to the end of the year.

After last night's singing at the train station (in aid of OxPAT and raising quite a bit from bemused commuters), I've decided not to tackle tomorrow's two sessions as well. One of the things that can set off my stomach thing, according to the doctor, is stress, and I've definitely been feeling that lately. Oddly, I don't actually have anything to be stressed about - work is fine, we're all sorted for Christmas, we're going on holiday etc etc, and yet my stomach is churning both literally and metaphorically. A weekend with nothing on and a chance to work through lists instead of writing yet more (I'm get out of control on this front. Again) is probably what I need.

It's been a long year, and a short year, all at once, and I'm desperate for the break to catch my breath and take stock a little. One of the things I learned about myself this year is that as an extrovert I suck at knowing what I'm thinking, or doing any kind of introspection at all, and in the last few months, I've figured out that I need to get back to my writing, as that's my best outlet for all the mess in my head. That and journaling, but I figure the stories are more entertaining to you guys than listening to me moaning ;)

So am finally looking forward to a relaxing weekend. What about everyone else? Y'all going to be around for a while, or is everyone heading off for the holidays?

ETA: You know, it would be really helpful if someone could decide exactly where in the country Oxford is. Our airport is in London (I kid you not), we get our news in the South region (which includes the Isle of Wight, which is quite a long way away), sometimes we're in the South East or the Midlands, and on one memorable occasion, we were in the South West region for mapping purposes. I want to know if we're going to get snow! *pouts*

Is there anyone still out there? LJ's been pretty quiet, and I've been even quieter, although I have been lurking in various journals over the last week.

So what have I been doing, since I haven't been here?

~ Last Wednesday, miss_zedem and I had a nice day out in Bristol, which isn't somewhere I'd thought of visiting before (it just happens to be more or less halfway between us) but I'd go to again. Lovely, lovely day.

~ From Friday lunchtime to Sunday evening I did 7 lots of singing, which was fun if exhausting.( I feel like I'm still hungover from it! )

~ I have been crocheting more than I knew was possible, although that's partly because crochet grows at a brilliant speed. It's definitely a craft for impatient people! I have 4 projects on the go right now, and I think they'll all get done by Christmas if my fingers hold out. And I thought writing by hand made my muscles cramp *ow ow ow*

~ I had a few days off last week and wandered round Oxford looking at the lights, the Christmas tree and the giant Menorah on Broad Street. It has lightbulbs rather than flames, but it's ten feet high, which probably makes up for that! Will try to get a picture of both at some point when the city isn't shrouded in fog.

~ I dropped out of reel_torchwood and the Podbang at amplificathon, due to lack of time and creativity, ( and am trying not to feel too guilty and useless about it )

Speaking of writing, is there anyone who could give me a super-quick typo-check on an SGA fic this evening? I won't have time for major editing, but I'd feel better if someone else made sure I haven't committed too many crimes against the English language!

The journal-silence has been down to a combination of the ridiculous busy-ness chronicled above and a continuing mental wobble, in which I convince myself that no one wants to hear what I have to say anyway, that writing in my journal is making a fuss about nothing and that if I enjoy it, I shouldn't do it. ...yeah, those last two don't even make sense to me. IDEK. I'm rather bleary and still slightly ill at the moment, so it's hard to know what I think, if I'm honest. But whatever it is, I'm fairly sure more coffee will make it better.

And just 6.5 work days to go before 2.5 weeks off \o/ It's going to be a busy holiday season, but as long as people let me sleep as well, it should be a good one :)

How's everyone doing out there? Hanging on okay?

Good...er...lunchtime all. Gosh, when did that happen? Hope everyone's coping with Monday okay. I'm tired out of my tiny mind, but managing better since the sun came out. I have lists as long as my arm to be getting on with, so clearly what I want to be doing is writing a long LJ post about my dull weekend.

~ I had a very practical weekend, what with one thing and another. On Saturday, I made us a medicine box from a shoebox and diet coke boxes. I can actually find a paracetamol when I need one, which is a great improvement. My SAD light makes an excellent craft lamp, it must be said.

~ Mum brought me up a collection of crochet hooks and some yarn, so I spent a happy evening trying not to tie my fingers together and mostly succeeded \o/ I'm pretty confident with the basic stitches now, as well as the basic amigurumi technique, which I like a lot. My main problem now is turning the end of my first row of proper stitches - all my squares are somewhat wobbly at the edges! Blackwell's knitters, would someone be able to help me with that on Wednesday, please? The books and YouTube vids aren't really doing the trick *looks hopeful*

~ A couple of emails at the weekend have made me look back on 2009 slightly differently than I'd expected. 2008 was a bad, bad year, and I know we'd all hoped this year would be better. It hasn't been, for most of my friends, and I will be glad to get into 2010, hoping for more. On the other hand, my own state of mind has, on the whole, been much better than last year, and I feel like I'm definitely *trying* to recover, even if I'm not there yet. I got up the courage a while back to email some friends that I'd more or less lost touch with, and their replies have been humbling and incredibly welcome. I'm still too flakey for my own liking, and need to get a grip on my organisational skills, which are more than lacking, but just the desire to do that is so much better than last year. Baby steps, but it's good to see progress.

~ Is anyone going to do Christmas wish lists this year? I checked, and they went up about this time last year. I'm very aware that the last posting dates are coming up in a few weeks, and I want to make sure I send stuff in plenty of time. If they don't pop up in the next few days, I might get the ball rolling myself...

~ I discovered a bunch of postcards from Menorca in the bottom of my rucksack. If I have your address, you might be getting a surprise!card in the next few weeks. Also, I must thank naye, rustydog and darththalia who have all sent me cards over the last few weeks, and have brightened my day immeasurably.

~ I did watch Waters of Mars yesterday ( and don't have many thoughts about it (doesn't include spoilers for the Christmas Special) )

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So, how's everyone else? Good week ahead?

I'm still trying to catch up on comment replies, but that might take me a while. My brain is still on a 'go slow' today, brought on by constant dreams last night which have left me worn out this morning, and the awful, horrible weather which is making me want to crawl under a blanket and not come out again. Under the circumstances, being busy should be good, but I'm not coping so well. I've got lots of easy, interesting things to do, but I still look at my list and want to cry. That's just daft, because seriously, everything on that list is totally achievable, and quickly, and then I get to cross things off, which will be AWESOME.

So, I'm writing in an attempt to pull myself out of my own head (no ear bleeding so far, you'll be pleased to hear) and remind myself that I do exist.

~ Last night's lecture was on EU law, which was...er...honestly? Not as dull as it could have been, but when even the lecturer is apologising for the content, you know you're in trouble. Still, she was a good speaker, knew her stuff and I learned some things about what the Lisbon treaty actually *means*, although don't ask me what until I've had a chance to read my notes again.

~ I like being allowed to sleep in on a Tuesday morning. Only an hour or so, but it makes a huge difference after all the travelling on a Monday.

~ Despite extreme cravings, I got through yesterday without having to resort to junk food, even though the soup we made at the weekend didn't turn out very well. So, oh wise and knowledgeable flist, do you have a favourite soup recipe that you could give me? It's not something I've ever really got the hang of, so while I can make pasta sauces from scratch using my imagination, I don't really know where to start when it comes to soup. I prefer thin soups to thick ones (broths rather than thick 'leek and potato' type things), but I eat most things!

~ Because I know this is relevant to some friends' interests: Get a free Evolution wall poster (UK-only, sorry, although if you really, really want one, I might be persuaded to post one overseas).

~ I'm still ploughing my way through the Eighth Doctor Audios, ( cut for vague spoilers, especially for The Natural History of Fear )

~ In terms of writing, I wrote an SGA ficlet off a drabble prompt (for which I'm sure I'll be forgiven) and prodded a few others that refused to cooperate. I'll get the drabbles cleaned up for posting later in the day, along with the ficlets. Both are SGA, actually, which seems to be a fandom curiously resistent to drabbling. I've only ever managed one which is not like me. A couple of the prompts have me utterly and unusually stumped, so I'm going to give myself until the end of the week to get them done, then declare defeat. I have an idea for an original fic that I offered someone at the Fandom Free For All, and I'm hoping once that's out of my head, other stuff will start to flow. Don't hold your breath, though...

~ Speaking of feeling blocked, I really want to write something with Hugh, but my brain keeps freezing. Sic Transit Tempus readers who know what I'm talking about, would anyone care to throw me a prompt/scenario/wild idea? I'm all at a loss.

~ Tonight is slightly nuts, since I have my slimming world group THEN people to dinner, but at least I have something resembling a social life at the moment. Of course, it's not helped by my sore throat and slight sniffle that I'm desperately hoping won't turn into a cold. I don't have time to be ill right now!

So that's me, folks. How's everyone else doing? Better now Monday's over?

Gosh, it's quiet around here, by which I mean LJ in general as well as my journal in particular. I think everyone migrated to Twitter when I wasn't looking (I'm there under this username, although I don't Tweet very much) and forgot how to make posts more than 140 characters long.

The quiet around here is due to a combination of the weather and general busyness. In theory, keeping myself busy and occupied should be a great way to combat the SAD that usually wallops me at this time of year. In practice, I'm mostly getting very tired and cross with myself for not being able to keep the flat in any kind of state of tidiness or achieve anything at all in general. We also had some house-stress, which is over now but has left me a little washed out and bluesy. That leads to no posting, and the less I post, the less I want to post and add that to one of the nastiest cases of Writers Block that I've had since I started writing and mostly what you get is a whole lot of nothing.

On the other hand, I've got most of the drabbles done now (some morphed into ficlets, because apparently I can't write short SGA any more) and am starting to have itchings to write more, which is definitely A Good Thing. I won't be doing NaNo this year, but will be trying to write every day, so that I can get through some of my stack of promised stories before Yuletide kicks off. I also won't be writing for the 'Come As You Aren't' party, because I can't think of anything that I'm capable of writing that I haven't written yet (although suggestions are welcome ;)), so I'm going to concentrate on my requests/prompts/exchange list for now. Should keep me going until the new year...

So yes, most of the reason I haven't been posting is that my life seems to be a random mixture of mania and boredom right now. If I'm not dashing frantically from commitment to commitment, I'm twiddling my thumbs and reorganising my icons folder pretending to write. My concentration span is approximately that of a hyperactive gnat right now, so just writing this post has been tricky - I keep wandering off to do other things :S If I could concentrate for more than 5 minutes at a time, I'm sure I could achieve greatness. As it is, most of what I'm achieving is a mess. Hopefully it's the kind of mess that suddenly coalesces into something, but I'm not holding my breath.

Anyway, that's me. How are you guys? Still hanging on in there? *waves*

Today I am awesome because I only had one piece of chocolate brownie not two, because I walked all the way to work and because I cleared a large heap of books before lunch. Oh, and last night I hoovered the flat and wiped down most of the skirting boards. I'm on a bit of a cleaning kick right now, that I'm hoping will turn into habit. Reading The Cleaning Bible is definitely inspirational, and the one piece of advice that I've decided to adopt is "if it takes longer than 5 minutes, you're not doing it often enough." Now, it takes longer than 5 minutes to hoover the whole flat, but it does only take 15 if I do it twice a week. Ditto wiping down the skirting boards, dusting things and cleaning the bath round. I'm not a naturally tidy person, but I'm finding keeping the place clean and tidy enormously good for my peace of mind and hugely satisfying. It's going to be interesting to see how long this lasts - usually my 'new habits' fizzle out after 6 weeks, so I shall keep reporting back.

( Good grief, I think about these things too much... )

I also had a lovely coffee/lunch with knitting friends, and my little stained-glass window cross-stitch is coming on nicely. I'd forgotten how much I enjoy making things, and while I can't knit or crochet, just doing something with my hands is good for my brain.

Anyway, that's me today. What about you, flist? How are you awesome today?

Things that occur to me today:

~ I don't post here as much as I used to. I can't work out whether this means my life is more interesting or less interesting.

~ Work is currently going well. This fills me with dread because I worry I'm missing something. It's possible that I just got more competent, but that seems unlikely.

~ We go on holiday on the 26th. That is not even three weeks away. Woot!

~ On Wednesday evening, I managed to lock myself in an unlocked room at work. This requires talent, I feel.

~ The microwave at work does strange things to potatoes, making them hot, soft and uncooked, all at the same time.

~ I really, really don't have a clue about my own stories, and thus owe people four fics as part of the Stump the Author Meme. On the plus side, I might get my cliche bingo card done after all.

~ Collaborative writing is one of the best experiences, ever.

~ My new netbook is Simply Awesome. I have also noticed that other people's technology tends to be named, while I've just been calling mine "my baby". I have decided that this is slightly creepy, and have therefore decided to call her Sapphire instead, since she is a lovely shade of blue. Hopefully, I will eventually get a silver iPod Nano that I can call Steel. This will make me very happy.

~ So far, we have viewed 3 flats, all of which needed work doing to them. That was the good part. The bad part was that they were all 1960s/70s Best of British Design - ie small and concrete. While I don't doubt we could do good things with them, none of them really got my soul going. We are currently pursuing a Very Exciting Opportunity which I can't say anything about in a public post, and which has about a 95% chance of not happening, but. Very Exciting, and worth the work and the risk. Possibly not worth the over-excited state that I tend to work myself into, though.

~ Speaking of which, New Pills are better than Old Pills. Instead of my mid-month downer, I've had mid-month severe instability. While this has left me kind of wrung out today (when I'm feeling better), it's actually better than the downer, since I can get things done. Still waiting to see what happens when I get another two weeks down the line...

~ I need to do things for bau_bigbang today, as well as edit a podtour of the library, answer some questions for my Staff Development Review on Monday and generally pretend to be a grown up. This is hard when you are wearing shiny red shoes and light purple tights.

~ Job-hunting is hard. I'm not sure if it's harder on me or major_jim, but it's hard.

~ It is probably time for an icon shuffle. Anyone who has my icons on alerts, consider yourselves warned.

~ I need a new bike. Fond as I am of my pink and yellow baby elephant (I maintain that the paintwork is an anti-theft device), the back brakes are rubbing against the wheel and neither set work particularly well, especially in the wet.

~ On Monday, the library begins moving, relabelling and replacing 16,000 books. I can't wait to see what it looks like.

~ Responsibility is over-rated. I'm off for chocolate cake. Anyone care to join me?